Sunday, April 16, 2006

Wholly Surrendered?


On a recent post I shared that sometimes I struggle with prayer…especially when it intersects with ultimately submitting or surrendering to God’s will.

I find it easier to just submit to God’s will rather than to offer prayer requests to him and have him say no, or wait…or I have a better choice or answer for you. That it’s less painful to just submit than to ask and not receive what I asked for or in the manner or timing I asked for it.

Today I was reflecting further on that and wondered…by withholding prayer or being reluctant in making my requests to God…I'm not fully or wholly surrendering to God.

Real trust…in God or even a person is to being able to say this is what I want or need. And when the answer is no…or later…or I’ve got something better…or you’re just going to have to trust me…that indeed you do trust them.

You trust their character, wisdom, knowledge, motives, and you trust that they love you. That they love you enough to give you what you need and do that which is best for you. Even if it’s not readily apparent to you at the moment. That’s trust

When I don’t pray about something that concerns me…it’s not like God doesn’t know about it. Not only is he aware of my needs or wants…he’s also aware of my reluctance approach him or trust him.

How do you feel when someone you love and for whom you want the best doesn’t trust you enough to confide in you? Does it hurt you? Does it frustrate you? Does it break your heart?

Perhaps the only one I’m kidding is me. I think that by not asking…and just submitting I am surrendering to God’s will. When in fact…I am not fully trusting God. Not trusting him enough to say “God…this is what I want or need. But God…I know that you are good, holy, perfect and righteous. I know that you love me and I trust you to give me that which you deem best for me at the right and perfect time.”

So like…will I ever get this trust in God and faith thing right before I die? Well…if I’m a betting person...I don’t know. But then there is God…and his Spirit within me…and tomorrow is a new day…and each moment is fresh. Okay…let’s give it another try. Thank Jesus!

Surrender definition by Webster’s:
1 a : to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand b : to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another2 a : to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner b : to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)

1 comment:

Janna Rust said...

You know, it does break my heart when someone I love doesn't trust me enough to confide in me. I never thought about how I do this to God. Great points.

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