A Little of This, A Little of That

I’ve been checking our bank account almost daily to see if the check had cleared yet.  It’s been over four weeks now, but I figured that it would show up any day now. 

On Monday, I saw the check had finally posted.  I knew that my original birth certificate was on its way.  I would soon see what I’ve wondered about for years.

I was adopted at three months old.  For as long as I could remember I’ve known that I was adopted.  As were my two brothers.  I know who my parents were…they were the mother and father who raised me.  They were there in good times and bad.  They encouraged me and discipline me.  They loved me even when I was unlovable. 

After finishing my Bible study in Genesis this year, I came away with the knowledge and assurance that God gave me just the right family.  It won’t be until I get to heaven that I may know why God chose my mother and father and brothers.  But He did and God had a purpose and plan He was working out in all our lives.

Over the years, off and on, I’ve been curious about who my birth parents were.  What was their story?  And my beginning?  What’s happened in their lives? 

I also found myself reticent about finding them.  I mean, what if they never wanted to see me?  In some respect adoption is the greatest gift.  It’s the gift of life and chance to have what they may not have been able to provide at that time in their lives.  Not sure if other adoptees feel this way, but I’ve got to confess, sometimes it feels like the ultimate rejection. 

But recently, I’ve felt a comfort and freedom in knowing that God has overseen all the details of my life and put me with the family He chose for me.  I think this is a good place to be in if I’m going to try and find my birth parents.

Some of you may have seen the TV show Long Lost Family.  It’s been on a couple of years now.  There’s just something about seeing these people find their birth families and make a connection with them.  Perhaps that’s stirred a longing in me.  I submitted my story and received a confirmation they got my application.  They get a lot of people applying for their help, so the chances of them choosing me may be small.  But, I thought I would give it a try. 

I also realized that I could do some searching on my own.  In the past, I’ve put my information in on adoption websites to no avail.  In my new search, I found out Colorado had recently changed their laws and adoptees and birth parents can get information, including their original birth certificate.  I sent away for it four weeks ago and now it’s on its way.

That will be a beginning.  It will give me the names of my birth mother and possible biological father.  From there, I can do some searches on Ancestry’s website among others to see if I can find them. 

It’s in the Lord’s hands and I need to trust Him with the outcome.  Whether I find them or not.  Or if I do locate them, if they don’t want to meet me or be in contact, I need to be okay with that too.

Along with sending away for my original birth certificate, I’ve been working on our family tree on Ancestry.  It’s pretty cool to flesh things out.  I’m finding some surprises along the way.

In putting information in on my grandparents, I’ve found that my grandmother had two siblings that I didn’t know about.  One was a baby sister, Marie, born about seven years before she was.  It appears that child died young, but I need to do more searching.  Also, she had a brother I had never heard about.  He died in the 1940’s. 

I found a record that looks like one of my Uncles was married twice and was divorced once.  Also, I found that my dad had a second sister that I had never heard of before.  Her name was Mary.  She first appeared on census paperwork. 

I’m sure there will be more surprises to come as I research and add more records.  It’s both exciting and kind of disorienting.  I wish I had done this when my mother still alive and I could ask questions and find out about our family.

I’m grateful for the support and encouragement of my husband, Chris.  I know that at the end of the day genetics and blood relations aren’t the be all and end all.  But something I’ve never really had is looking like my family members.  Or having similar abilities, talents and interests.  So, we shall see what tomorrow will bring and if I’m able to find my birth parents. 

At 58 years old, I’m well aware the clock is ticking.  My chances of finding them dwindles with each passing day.  It’s in the Lord’s hands and I will trust Him.