I’ve
been checking our bank account almost daily to see if the check had cleared
yet. It’s been over four weeks now, but
I figured that it would show up any day now.
On
Monday, I saw the check had finally posted.
I knew that my original birth certificate was on its way. I would soon see what I’ve wondered about for
years.
I
was adopted at three months old. For as
long as I could remember I’ve known that I was adopted. As were my two brothers. I know who my parents were…they were the
mother and father who raised me. They
were there in good times and bad. They encouraged
me and discipline me. They loved me even
when I was unlovable.
After
finishing my Bible study in Genesis this year, I came away with the knowledge
and assurance that God gave me just the right family. It won’t be until I get to heaven that I may
know why God chose my mother and father and brothers. But He did and God had a purpose and plan He
was working out in all our lives.
Over
the years, off and on, I’ve been curious about who my birth parents were. What was their story? And my beginning? What’s happened in their lives?
I
also found myself reticent about finding them.
I mean, what if they never wanted to see me? In some respect adoption is the greatest
gift. It’s the gift of life and chance
to have what they may not have been able to provide at that time in their
lives. Not sure if other adoptees feel
this way, but I’ve got to confess, sometimes it feels like the ultimate rejection.
But
recently, I’ve felt a comfort and freedom in knowing that God has overseen all
the details of my life and put me with the family He chose for me. I think this is a good place to be in if I’m
going to try and find my birth parents.
Some
of you may have seen the TV show Long Lost Family. It’s been on a couple of years now. There’s just something about seeing these
people find their birth families and make a connection with them. Perhaps that’s stirred a longing in me. I submitted my story and received a
confirmation they got my application.
They get a lot of people applying for their help, so the chances of them
choosing me may be small. But, I thought
I would give it a try.
I
also realized that I could do some searching on my own. In the past, I’ve put my information in on
adoption websites to no avail. In my new
search, I found out Colorado had recently changed their laws and adoptees and birth
parents can get information, including their original birth certificate. I sent away for it four weeks ago and now it’s
on its way.
That
will be a beginning. It will give me the
names of my birth mother and possible biological father. From there, I can do some searches on
Ancestry’s website among others to see if I can find them.
It’s
in the Lord’s hands and I need to trust Him with the outcome. Whether I find them or not. Or if I do locate them, if they don’t want to
meet me or be in contact, I need to be okay with that too.
Along
with sending away for my original birth certificate, I’ve been working on our
family tree on Ancestry. It’s pretty
cool to flesh things out. I’m finding
some surprises along the way.
In
putting information in on my grandparents, I’ve found that my grandmother had
two siblings that I didn’t know about. One
was a baby sister, Marie, born about seven years before she was. It appears that child died young, but I need
to do more searching. Also, she had a
brother I had never heard about. He died
in the 1940’s.
I
found a record that looks like one of my Uncles was married twice and was divorced
once. Also, I found that my dad had a
second sister that I had never heard of before.
Her name was Mary. She first
appeared on census paperwork.
I’m
sure there will be more surprises to come as I research and add more
records. It’s both exciting and kind of
disorienting. I wish I had done this
when my mother still alive and I could ask questions and find out about our
family.
I’m
grateful for the support and encouragement of my husband, Chris. I know that at the end of the day genetics and
blood relations aren’t the be all and end all.
But something I’ve never really had is looking like my family
members. Or having similar abilities,
talents and interests. So, we shall see
what tomorrow will bring and if I’m able to find my birth parents.
At
58 years old, I’m well aware the clock is ticking. My chances of finding them dwindles with each
passing day. It’s in the Lord’s hands
and I will trust Him.
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