Lately…I’ve experienced…in full living color the truth of a Dennis “Pragerism”.
Or what about when you’re driving down the highway and that all too familiar smell of a skunk’s recent encounter with a foe comes drifting into your car. You can’t roll up the car windows fast enough and it does little good even if you try because you can’t shut that smell out. That not so lovely smell is already in the vehicle and permeates the air. You can’t escape it.
So too it is with a bad mood or critical, negative attitude. This is an offence of choice and something that can be controlled if we choose to do so. Or something that we choose to wallow in and inflict on others.
I’m not talking about that occasional bad day that we’ve all had. The one that starts out from the moment you get out of bed and stub your toe on the nightstand and follow it with a cold shower…because for some blessed reason the hot water heater decided to go out that day of all days!. Later heading out the door and you are short on time…that burnt toast will just have to do. But the last straw comes when you spill the hot coffee down that new white blouse. You are tempted to turn that car around and go home…pull the covers over your head and take the rest of the day off. Since you don’t have that luxury…you head into the office anyway. A quick stop in the bathroom helps you to repair your outfit…but that stop doesn’t do much to repair the stinky attitude you have that morning.
Now we’ve all had those “bad day”…and as humans…we need to allow others some leeway and understanding on a day like that.
The problem comes in when it’s not just a bad day…but a bad week, month, year, decade or lifetime. That person is miserable…and they are committed consciously or unconsciously…to making sure that everyone that comes in their path knows about it.
When something good happens to them…they find fault. They pick it apart…somehow, someway, something was wrong…or it’s just not good enough. Goodness knows…if a good thing happens to someone else…but not them…they will be sure to let you know. They don’t know the meaning of “rejoice with those who are rejoicing”. Instead they are indulging in their own not so private pity party.
It comes out in the snide remarks…examining under the microscope every little thing that comes out of another’s mouth and looking intently to find fault. It comes out in jealousy that is well disguised in the wrapping of criticism. It comes in the inability to be thankful or express gratitude for the good things. It comes in the form of thinking everyone is better off or has it easier than you do. It comes in the form of a willful blindness or myopic vision that chooses not to look at or focus on the blessings that God has provided.
That glum, negative, critical view is like a cloud that hangs overhead…keeping the rays of sunshine from breaking through. Not only for that person…but also those with whom they keep company. They are sharing the wealth. Gee wiz…thanks for sharing!
It’s very wearing, draining and tiring. You’re almost afraid to say anything good because you know that it will be followed by some put down or negative remark. So instead you choose to remain quite because there is nothing you can say that will make a difference…nothing you can do to make it better. Because for these folks…it’s not just a bad day…but instead the way they view the world and their life.
Make no mistake…it can be controlled. Think of the husband and wife having an argument that’s getting a little heated. The phone rings…and all of a sudden…someone is talking sweet as pie to the person calling on the phone. If you didn’t hear the quarrel before…you’d never know there was a problem.
So too the person with emotional BO can turn it off when they choose too and instead turn on the charm.
What they don’t realize is that person sitting across from them…has things pretty rough in their own life. But they have no idea…because that person chooses not to continually dwell on it or make sure that everyone in their path is aware of their misery. Instead they put on a smile and choose to be thankful for what they do have, focus on others and have a sense of humor about life.
Always being critical and negative takes no effort. It’s easy…the path of least resistance. Sometimes you need to be creative and willing to laugh at yourself and the world. That can take some work…to see the humor or find the good in a bad situation. But oh the rewards that await you.
You won’t be overwhelmed and pulled down by the difficulties inherent in living when you keep that sense of humor, look for the good in a situation and praise God for that which He has done for you.
So whether you live with the person who emits emotional BO…or have the challenge of working with them…or encounter them during your daily commute…it’s imperative that you don’t let they pity party and negative world view cast a shadow over you.
Instead shine the light upon them. Shine the light of gratitude and thanksgiving. Focus the light of humor on a situation…or turn on the high beams of always looking on the bright side. If nothing else…it may annoy them. I must say it is rather rewarding when you can deprive someone of the satisfaction they derive by bring everyone else down. To quote Martha Stewart…“It’s a good thing!”
When they want to rain on your parade…raise your umbrella and keep your eyes focused on that rainbow just across the way. Perhaps they could even use a prayer two uttered on their behalf.
Life is too bloody short to be continually focused on the negative. All you end up doing is multiplying your sorrows and making things worse. Now why would you want to do that?
P.S…you see even something good can come out of interacting with a person with emotional BO. It helped me to write an article…and also see clearly what I don’t want to be like.
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