It Is Appointed

Like so many people around our country, I was shocked and saddened to hear the tragic news of Kobi Bryant’s death yesterday, along with eight other people, including his daughter Gianna.  It was shocking…sudden, unexpected and he was so young as were others on the same flight.

I’ve been thinking about death quite a lot in the past few weeks.  One night I was laying in bed praying and thanked God for the gift my husband Chris.  I realized how much my life has been enriched and changed because of him.  He has brought my life new meaning and the everyday ordinary things like cooking and taking care of our home have a purpose. 

As a Christian, I know that our death is a divine appointment.  God knows our end before we were even born.  He has determined and appointed our times…our beginning and end, even where we live. 

He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; ²⁶ and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, ²⁷ that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him…Acts 17:25b-27b

Each day is a gift from God.  It’s important for me to be grateful today and not take people for granted because I don’t know if we will have another day.  More important is the truth that we will all die one day and we will stand before God to give an account for lives. 

²⁷ And inasmuch as it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment, - Hebrews 9:27

Every one of us has sinned and broken God’s Law.  We can never be good enough or do enough good works to earn our salvation.

²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, - Romans 3:23

That is all of us…you and me!

For all of us have become like one who is unclean,
And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment. – Isaiah 64:6a-b

Apart from God sending His Son Jesus Christ to pay the penalty for our sin, none of us would or could be saved.  There is One Way to God…Jesus Christ. 

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” – John 14:6

The death of those nine people on that helicopter was tragic and unexpected.  We should be in prayer for their families, friends, teammates, and co-workers.

But I want each one of us to consider our divine appointment.  We don’t know when it will happen.  We don’t know how we are going to die.  Will we be on our deathbed and have time to repent and confess Jesus Christ as Lord?  Or will our death be sudden and unexpected?  We don’t know that.

Behold, now is “the acceptable time,” behold, now is “the day of salvation”— 2 Corinthians 6:2b

Lord willing, you may be granted many more days.  But I beg you…do not delay.  There is nothing more important than making sure that your salvation has been secured.  That your sins have been forgiven.  Because there will be no second chances once we die. 

⁴ But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, ⁵ He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, ⁶ whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, ⁷ so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.  – Titus 5:4-7

Our Sovereign God…the One who is Holy, Holy, Holy and Righteous, He is the Righteous Just Judge and His Wrath against sinful man is just.  

In the parable of the Prodigal Son, we see a picture of our Heavenly Father.  He is standing and looking out and waiting for his wayward son to return.  Here we can see the Mercy and Grace of God…His Lovingkindness and willingness to Forgive.  The son didn’t deserve the father’s forgiveness…but the father was willing to forgive.  God is rich in mercy and He has made a way for sinners to be forgiven, through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ who paid the sin debt of all who will repent and believe.

The Prodigal Son

¹¹ And He said, “A man had two sons. ¹² The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me.’ So he divided his wealth between them. ¹³ And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living. ¹⁴ Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. ¹⁶ And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him. ¹⁷ But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! ¹⁸ I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.”’ ²⁰ So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. ²¹ And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ ²² But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; ²³ and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; ²⁴ for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’ And they began to celebrate.

²⁵ “Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be. ²⁷ And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.’ ²⁸ But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. ²⁹ But he answered and said to his father, ‘Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; ³⁰ but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.’ ³¹ And he said to him, ‘Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.’” – Luke 15:11-32

Don’t delay…for today is the day of salvation. 

Five Minute Friday – It Only Takes a Moment

It’s been a while since I’ve participated in the Five Minute Friday writing challenge.  But it feels so good to dive back in.  If you like to write or need some inspiration and encouragement from others be sure to check it out. 

Today word prompt:  Moment

It only takes a moment

For everything in your life to change

One moment

And things will never be the same again

Sometimes those are good moments

Filled with happiness, excitement and joy

Other times, it’s a sad or desperate moment

One that you will look back on and wonder

What if

If only

I wish

The thing of it is

We don’t know when those moments are coming

We don’t know

When it will be the last time…

You’ll see that loved one alive

Or the last time you get to say I love you

The final time you will hear their voice

The last message that will come across your phone

When that moment comes

Only then you realize…

No more chances to say I’m sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me

No more opportunities to share the Gospel of Christ

No longer can you tell them what they’ve meant to you

Your words of encouragement will not be heard by the one who needs it the most

No longer will you be able to hold their hand

Look into their eyes

Laugh together so hard it makes you cry

Hug them and feel them hold you tight

So today

For a moment

Take a moment

To be with

To do or say

That which you can’t do

When the one you love has been taken away

Susan Wachtel

October 26, 2018

In light of the recent death of my brother, Michael Bunts, I’m very aware of those moments that have passed and I can’t get back or do over. 

When a fellow Christian dies you miss them, are profoundly sad and grieve their loss.  But it’s a grief with hope in the knowledge that their life is not over and you will see them again in heaven.  They are in the presence of God, where we long to be.

But when it’s someone who doesn’t know the Lord Jesus Christ, or hasn’t repented of their sin and put their faith in the complete and finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, that’s a sadness without hope for their eternal security.

Even in that profound sadness and loss…there is always hope for the believer based on who God is.  Sovereign, Righteous, Holy, Holy, Holy, Compassionate, Truth, Deliverer, Refuge, Strong Tower, Strength, All-Knowing, All-Powerful, Great High Priest, Everywhere Present, Creator, Eternal, Without Beginning and Without End, The Good Shepherd, The Way, The Truth and the Life, The Narrow Gate, Without Sin, Pure, The Lamb of God Who Takes Away the Sin of the World, Resurrected Savior, Kind, Patient, the Mighty God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ the Son of God, Immanuel, Messiah, Wrathful, Punishes the Wicked, Merciful, Gracious, Just, Judge…and so much more.

Are You Kidding Me – Bad Theology Does Not Bring Comfort

Recently I read a quote by Henry Scott Holland that was shared and meant to bring comfort to the family and friends following the death of their loved one. 

As I read it, I was shocked at the incredibly bad theology written by a Regius Professor of Divinity from the University of Oxford.  It’s filled with lies that come from the pit of hell. 

Death is nothing at all.  It does not count.  I have only slipped away into the next room.  Nothing has happened.  Everything remains exactly as it was.  I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.  Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.  Call me by the old familiar name.  Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.  Put no difference into your tone.  Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.  Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.  Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.  Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.  Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.  Life means all that it ever meant.  It is the same as it ever was.  There is absolute and unbroken continuity.  What is this death but a negligible accident?  Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?  I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner.  All is well.  Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.  One brief moment and all will be as it was before.  How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

First and foremost, only those people who have repented of their sin and confessed Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior have the assurance of heaven.  Only those family and friends who have done the same will have the hope of heaven and the promise that they will one day see their loved one again in heaven. 

All human beings will continue to exist after death.  Some in heaven because they have been saved by grace through faith, not of themselves, but it was a gift of God lest we boast.  Tragically far too many will find themselves in hell after living a life of rejecting God or thinking they will enter heaven based on their own good works. 

All is not well for the loved one who died without Christ.  They are hurting very much and will continue to do so eternity. 

Death is huge…it is a confirmation of Genesis 3 when sin entered the world and the consequences that all humanity will face entered in- death!

Anyone who has lost a loved one to death knows it is something huge.  Death brings to a close any chance of salvation through Jesus Christ.  Men are appointed to death once and then they will face judgment.  For those who are in Christ they are absent from the body, present with the Lord.  For those who did not receive Christ they are awaiting judgment and face eternity in hell. 

Following death our relationships change forever, even for those who grieve with hope in Christ.  Ask a mother who lost a child, or a husband who lost his wife.  There is grief and at times our sorrow may be overwhelming.  It’s not wrong to feel sorrow in the face of death.  Our relationships will change after we die.  What our relationships are today is not what they will be or remain once we die.  For those who know Christ and are in heaven, relationships will continue, but they will be different. 

Praise God for the wonderful memories you may have of a loved one who has died.  Those memories are a gift from God.  You may weep, grieve and feel sorrow and that’s okay because you have experienced a great loss.  The Lord desires to comfort you in your sorrow.  Lord willing, you will once again you will find joy and happiness, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have an ache in your heart when you remember your loved one who has died.  Life does go on, but you can’t help but think of all the things your loved one will not be there to see. 

In his writing Mr. Holland erred when he said, “pray for me.”  I can assure you that you do not need to pray for person who has already died.  If they are a Christian they are in heaven with the Lord – absent from the body, present with the Lord.  If they are an unbeliever, they are awaiting judgment and hell.  Your prayers will not change their eternal destiny one iota once a person dies.  Save your prayers for the living, for the family and friends who are grieving the loss of a loved one. 

The thing that troubles me the most about this writing by Henry Scott Holland is that he did not share the Gospel message of salvation through Christ alone.  He gave the illusion that death is nothing, when in fact the knowledge that we will all die ought to grab our attention and cause us to ask where will I go when I die. 

Except for the Christian who is alive when the rapture occurs, we will all die…Christians and unbelievers alike.  However, our destinies are different. 

For the person who has repented of their sin and believed on the Lord Jesus Christ they will be in heaven forever.  A place of no more sorrow, sickness, death, tears or sin.  For the unbeliever they are facing judgment and eternity in hell forever.  It’s a place of weeping and gnashing of teeth, punishment and eternal torment. 

If I really thought that death was nothing I would have no reason to share the Gospel message.  I wouldn’t need to.  But death is indeed something huge…it’s a game changer and people’s eternal destiny is fixed once they die.  Until then, we need to share the Gospel message of salvation in Christ alone

I can’t help but believe that satan is quite pleased with Mr. Holland’s writing.  It’s puts people minds at ease and comforts troubled emotions that people may feel in the wake of someone’s death.  It does nothing to warn about the reality of hell and makes death seem like it’s nothing significant. 

Henry Scott Holland is very wrong indeed.  Bad theology brings no lasting comfort in the face of death.

A great resource to better understand about death and our eternal destiny is Hell's Best Kept Secret by Ray Comfort.  Click on the link below to read this book.  

Hell’s Best Kept Secret – Ray Comfort

In Passing

When you hear the news that I have passed from this life
Please do not grieve as those without hope
For I am truly home
 
My faith has given way to sight
That which was dim, I can now see clearly
What was once my hope, is now reality
 
Absent from the body, I’m now present with the Lord
From my Savior’s lips I heard the words I longed for
Well done good and faithful servant
 
I have now entered in to the joy of my Master
Where I am there is no more sin, sickness, sorrow or death
I’m forever more in the presence of Christ Jesus my Lord
 
 
Susan Bunts Wachtel
July 8, 2010

Death

The inescapable reality of death surrounds me
When tempted to ponder why bad things happen to good people
I am reminded…all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God
 
Genesis 3:6...sin entered the world
Along with it…death
The track record is impressive…100%
 
Am I ready to I stand before God
Have my sins been covered by the blood of the Lamb
Have my sins been removed as far as the east is from the west
 
Or will I choose to given an account for my sins
Plead my case
Though I’m not perfect, surely I’m not as bad as some
 
Does God have a perfect standard or does he grade on the curve
Will He look on my outside appearance
Or will He examine the inward thoughts and intention of my heart
 
While I’ve never committed murder or adultery
In my heart I’ve hated my brother and lusted after another’s spouse
In me lies no good thing
 
I have put others before You Lord
Raised up idols disguised as wants and needs
Cursed You or casually tossed around Your name
 
Oh Lord, I am undone
At the thought of standing before the Holy & Righteous One
My lips will plead, “Guilty”
 
But in Christ I have an Advocate
My Defender will stand beside me
He will plead my case
 
“Father, she’s been redeemed
My blood was shed on Calvary for her
Her sins are covered and she’s been set free
 
My sin debt has been marked “Paid in Full”
The Father now sees me clothed in the righteousness of Christ
He will remember my sins no more
 
 
Susan Bunts Wachtel
July 2, 2010

Sin

But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life.  For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 6:22-23

This week I was thinking about sin and the devastating eternal consequences of it.  I hate sin!  I hate that which is within me that motivates me to sin.  I hate sin in other people and the consequences of sin. 

It’s ironic…but when we are tempted to sin…when we choose to go down that wrong path…we don’t think beyond the moment.  We don’t see how it will impact us in the future and harm others too…like our spouses, children, friends, neighbors and co-workers. 

We blame God for sin when we say that He made us that way.  Well…no He didn’t.  Our sinful natures are a consequence of the fall.  God didn’t make us sinful…He paid the penalty for our sin through the death of Jesus Christ on the cross.  He paid the price so we don’t have to suffer the eternal consequences. 

• Sin is motivated by our selfish and prideful nature.
• We are willfully blinded to the cost of sin and the long term effect.
• We are no more like Satan than when we purposefully and willfully choose to sin against God and man. 
• We engage in it.
• We refuse to repent of it.
• We applaud others who engage in sin.
• We laugh at sin.
• We feel better about our own sin when we see someone who is more sinful. 
• We ignore it.
• We are too timid to confront others who are engaged in sin.
• We turn a blind eye to sin.
• We fail to recognize it on our own lives.
• We view sin as entertainment when it comes in the form in movies, books, TV and music. 
• We make excuses for sin.
• We call sin something other than what it is.
• We fail to recognize that sin is more than just the outward actions, but it starts and comes from within.
• What’s going on in my heart and my thought life is every bit as sinful as the person engaged in blatant outward sin
• Most people agree that murder, adultery and stealing are sinful.  But what about gossip or spreading a bad report?  What about murmuring or complaining?
• Unbelief is a sin…just ask the Jews who wandered in the desert for 40 years.  What about an ungrateful heart?
• We fail to grasp the eternal consequences of sin for those who refuse to accept God’s remedy through Christ Jesus our Lord.
• We put hell out of our mind and don’t think about eternal suffering and separation from God. 
• We cooperate with Satan when we sin.
• Satan delights in seeing a Christian sin because of the reproach it brings upon Jesus Christ. 
• Satan desires to keep humans created in God’s image out of heaven. 
• Hell is what we deserve…but if we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and His death on the cross as payment in full…we will be given that which we don’t deserve. 

Divine Appointment

Over 150,000 people
Had a divine appointment today
Nameless and faceless to most
But each is known by God
The One to Whom we must give an account

The date of that divine appointment
Was set long before we took our first breath
The One who formed us in our mother’s womb
Measured our days and scheduled the appointment
The day and the hour when we will take our last breath

In the Bible
God counsels us
To number our days
He warns us that it is appointed for man to die once
Then comes judgment

There are no second chances
There are no mulligans to be claimed
Though all will stand before God one day
Not all paths will end in heaven
For some another place has been reserved

For those who have rejected God
All of their days
Those who have worshipped a god
Of their own making
They will spend eternity separated from God’s presence

And such were some of us
Until the Son of Man
Set us free
From the bondage of sin and death
He put us on the narrow path

We found there is but One Way to salvation
Through Jesus Christ our Lord
If you confess with your mouth
And believe with your heart
You will be saved!


Susan Bunts Wachtel
June 26, 2009


When the news came yesterday of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett’s deaths…it was kind of shocking. Both were famous people whose careers were at their heights in my younger days…and today they are dead.

It was interesting hearing and reading people’s comments. Some were shocked by Jackson’s sudden death at a young age. Some were upset that most of the press coverage was devoted to Michael Jackson with nary a word about Farrah Fawcett or Ed McMahon’s deaths.

When I read the words, “Two people died today, not just one” I wanted to shout, “No…thousands and thousands of people died today!”

Most of them…you will never know. But their family and friends will shed tears and grieve their loss. Not because they were famous, rich, beautiful or talented…but because they were loved. How many of them died without accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior? How many people had a divine appointment that they didn’t anticipate or plan for? How many will be separated from God for eternity in hell?”

As horrible as cancer is…at least Farrah Fawcett had time to prepare herself, to make peace with God if she so desired. On the other hand…Michael Jackson’s death was sudden and unexpected. I’ll bet he didn’t wake up thinking, “I may be dead before the day is over.” It was probably a day like any other.

But God had a divine appointment in store…as He does for each one of us.

Are you ready for your divine appointment?

An Appointment with Death

This was the day I’ve dreaded and would have done just about anything to avoid. But there’s no stopping it.

It’s been a long time coming…but suddenly it’s here. Hard to believe…but it was just a month ago…my mom was doing okay…the Alzheimer’s way. Then a phone call about a quarter to 11 pm on April 4^th…started a chain of events that seem unstoppable.

My mom was being transported to the emergency room because she was having trouble breathing. I arrived at the emergency room and found her in bed struggling for every breath. It wasn’t just labored…she was fighting for each breath. I was reminded of someone who had just run a marathon and couldn’t catch their breath. Gayle was conscience, but not really. As the night wore on, tests were done, breathing treatments were given and her breathing improved. Despite my protests and efforts to keep her at Placentia Linda, my mom was transported to Anaheim Memorial.

I texted Chris, “Mom in ER, call you in the AM”. Our date and plans for the day would have to be set aside. I headed home about 2:30 in the morning. The hospital promised to call me with confirmation that she would be transferred and when. Before I even lay my head on the pillow I got the call…she would be transferred within the hour. When the phone rang at 5, I tried to focus and answer the nurse’s questions. They would be getting Gayle settled and I went back to sleep…even if it was just a few hours.

I set the alarm for 8. I figured that’s not too early to call Chris and break the bad news. I found Chris awake and getting ready. He was surprised by the news…but eager to come and be my side…even if that was in a hospital room. I can’t tell you how grateful I was to feel the warmth of his embrace and have him by my side as we navigated the hall and maze of Anaheim Memorial.

In the 3 ½ days at the hospital my mom’s interactive abilities declined steeply. While not able to engage in a conversation…she was able to respond. Some of the nurses we encountered were very good. Kind, sweet and made the effort to help someone who could not function on their own. Some of the nurses left me asking why in the world they are working in nursing. Nothing in their personality or skills gave any hint of compassion and caring.

As difficult as that was…it paled in comparison to what we would experience over the next few days and weeks. The bad dream would soon become a nightmare. Her title was discharge planner. But I was certain I had seen her in a movie and her name was Nurse Ratched. Wretched would be a more apt description. I begged her to try and get Gayle transferred back to Brighton Gardens. She said she’d try and even took down names and contact numbers. But because she was unwilling to give the information they needed to evaluate if she could be returned…it remained in limbo. It was only after I talked with the folks at Brighton I discovered that this woman had lied to me. Her lies, laziness and lack of compassion resulted in Gayle being transferred to St. Edna’s.

That’s the place where I first realized…my mom is going to die soon. The smell of the place left me with the overwhelming impression that she was going to die there. Her pneumonia was gone…but she was scared and depressed. She had given up. St. Edna’s was the death knell or the proverbial nail the coffin that would lead Gayle on the path to a divine appointment.

St. Edna’s was also the place where I was introduced to Hospice. These people worked miracles to get my mom transferred back to her home. A place where she is known as Gayle and not the patient in bed 40 C. She is well known and well love. A place where tears are shed at her impending death and hugs given in love.

She was transferred back to Brighton on a Saturday. While I knew she wouldn’t regain all her skills and functioning…I figured that she’d bounce back a bit. But I was wrong. Her improvement was short lived. She had given up…and that was most evident in the fact she had stopped eating.

That first day back she was looking quite ragged. Knowing that any girl feels better when they look better, I had her go to the beauty shop for a hair cut. Something short and much different than she had before. But I wanted something that would look good, even when she wasn’t doing good.

Her fading began and was more evident with each passing day. Oh she took a couple of bites of pudding and drank some juice…but that was it. Soon she would be eating nothing. Getting thickened juices down her would be considered a triumph. At first she was up and about in her new wheel chair. Before long she would be in bed, 24/7.

Then came the call from the Hospice nurse. She’s in the process of dying. Maybe a couple of weeks. My regular weekly visits now became a daily thing. At first she was awake for part of the time…interacting a bit. But soon…she’d sleep the whole time through…except when the pain awakened her.

While my mom’s state of salvation has been on my mind for many years…I now find myself desperate to make sure she is a daughter of the King of kings. If her salvation was based on works…she’d be saved. If one could go to heaven because they are good person…she would be welcomed through the Gates of Heaven.

But I know my scripture. I know salvation is not based on works, nor how good a person is. The Bible plainly tells us that there is no one righteous, no not one. If you confess with your mouth and believe with your heart that Jesus Christ is Lord, you will be saved.

To my knowledge my mom had never openly shared her believe that Jesus Christ is Lord and that He died to pay the penalty for our sins. That His death and sacrifice is applied to our sin debt when we receive Him as our Lord and Savior. My mom had been in church for many years…but I couldn't say with assurance she is in Christ.

That’s why every visit now…I’m telling her about Jesus. I’m reciting the sinner’s prayer. Reading scripture, knowing that even now, even in her advanced state of Alzheimer’s that God can reach her. I’ve put in request after request that people pray for her salvation. When I get upset and cry, people try to comfort me and ask if they can do anything. My one answer is please pray for my mother’s salvation.

I’ve been surprised by people’s reactions. Not so much from unbelievers. They think that if someone is good they will go to heaven. But the responses that surprise me the most are from Christians. They assure me that she’s good and will go to heaven. She’s dying but she seems to be at peace.

That assurance brings me no comfort because I know that if she hasn’t accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, this will be the last peace she will experience. I have been burdened and desperate for her salvation. My concern is for the eternal consequences of any unredeemed sinner.

At times she seems peaceful. But I’ve been there at night. That peace was exchanged for torture. A grimace crosses her face. Her glazed eyes seem to be following something along the ceiling. She is shaking her head no and can not be calmed.

While I claim no divine revelation…I believe it’s entirely possible that Satan has sent his demons to taunt her at the prospect that she will be joining them with her impending death. I look up at the ceiling. There’s nothing there visible to the eye. But she is seeing something…and is quite tortured.

That’s why I’m desperate for her salvation. I would rather she experience discomfort this side of heaven…and enter in to eternal rest and peace when she dies. That’s why I’ve ask my friends to go see her and pray with her and for her salvation. That’s why I called Chris on my cell phone and asked him to pray with us and for us. That’s why I don’t care what anyone thinks when I put the speaker on and place it next to Gayle’s ear as Chris prays for my mom and her salvation. That’s why I’m kneeling by her bed and praying on the phone with my beloved man. Where two or three are gathered together…even over the phone.

If my mom dies without Jesus…it won’t be because she’s not heard about him. It won’t be because no one has shared the Gospel message. It will be because she has a hard heart and wants to come to God her own way. Not the prescribed way that God has laid out in the Bible.

When I see the tortured look on her face and see that she can not be comforted…it’s a small preview of what her eternity will be like if she dies without Christ.

That’s why Jesus may be the last thing she hears from me as I’m desperate that God will use anything to bring her to a saving faith in Christ Jesus…before her divine appointment with death.

Her divine appointment has become mine. I’m not sure what God is teaching me in this. But I know He is at work, in both me and my mother. I would rather her death be painful and her eternal life be peaceful and joyous.

The nurses tell me her time is short. A day or two. It’s in the Lord’s hands…as is her salvation. Her inability to speak and give visible acknowledgement of faith is a reminder to me that our salvation is all a work of God, not of us, least any man should boast.

One of the blessings in these last days of her life is that I get to meet the nurses that work the overnight shift. Offer my thanks and encourage them as they work with people in the most critical time of their life. All too often when family is absent.

So…would you please join me in praying for my mother’s salvation? I would be most grateful. Her divine appointment is drawing close. Salvation is a work of God…and I pray that if she is not saved, that He will bring her to a saving faith in Jesus Christ.

Ebbing Away

I walked in,
My first thought...
My Mom’s going to die here.

That smell hits my nose,
An odor of death surrounds me,
Makes me want to vomit...turn and run.

What little abilities she had,
Are quickly fading away,
There’s her body...but where’s the person I love?

The few words that used to be uttered,
Her occasional sentence is now all but gone,
In its stead...silence.

Her eyes that once would light up,
Along with a mischievous smile,
Has been replaced by a blank unresponsive stare.

Before she would grip my hand,
Now try as I might,
There’s nothing but a limp hand.

Tales of escape to Vegas,
Or climbing out of bed,
Have been taken over by one...who just wants to die.

Music that once inspired tapping toes,
As a knowing smile crossed her lips,
Can not even elicit a bob of her head.

She’s fading,
Her life is ebbing away,
She’s given up...I fear she will soon die.

Will it be with me by her side?
Or in the cold dark of night,
Alone?

Makes me want to vomit and run away,
But this sick feeling in my stomach,
Just will not go away.

Peace evades me as I question her salvation,
Please Lord...may her name be written,
In the Lamb’s Book of Life.

Your word assures me,
You desire that none would perish,
May she even now repent and receive Christ.

Even with a mind that may not comprehend,
You God...are able to reach in,
I beg You...may she please be saved.

In desperation,
By her bedside,
I told her about Jesus.

I pray,
That nod...barely noticeable,
Is confirmation my Mother is now my sister in Christ.

As I walked out the door tonight,
I wondered,
Will I ever see her alive again?

By Susan Bunts
April 9, 2008