Thursday, May 13, 2010
Just Thinking About Marriage
Yesterday, after listening to another marriage and family radio program I found myself so discouraged. Discouraged…not because Chris and I have a bad marriage…but because our marriage is not the picture perfect ideal marriage that the experts tell us we should have.
That’s when God got a hold of me. First He had me focus on Him…through worship and praise music. Then God gently chastised me and reminded me to keep my eyes on Jesus. That I need to look to God’s word and what He says about marriage…about being a husband and wife…and not seek man’s wisdom in place of God’s.
Make no mistake…there’s good advice and suggestions in these programs. Some of it is God centered and based on scripture. But I think what Chris and I have been doing, by listening to so many programs, is over examining our marriage and holding one another up to man’s checklist. Even if we passed one test…we’d fail in the others. It’s a “no win” way to live and it’s no way to love my husband.
It’s kind of like the garden we’ve planted. If every day when I get home from work, I plucked the plants out of the ground to see how they are growing…they wouldn’t grow and thrive. But if I tend them...water the plants, remove any pests and fertilize them…the plants will grow and be fruitful.
Marriage programs can be like the big magnifying mirror that I use. I may examine myself in the big mirror to address any unwanted issues. But I only do it every once and a while…I don’t do it continually throughout the day. Can you imagine me carrying around that big mirror and looking at myself throughout the day? If I did that…I would be focused on all the flaws and imperfections all day, every day. There is a time and a place for the big mirror and a time to put it away.
Instead, I need to be examining myself in light of the magnifying mirror of God’s word. I need to apply the God’s checklist against my own heart, thoughts, intentions and motives. It’s there that God will wash me with His word…and reveal any wicked way in me.
God is more than able to deal with both of us individually…I don’t need to play the Holy Spirit for my husband. God is doing just fine on His own and He doesn’t need my help.
Maybe it’s time for us to enjoy one another. For me to thank God for the husband that God has given me. God has uniquely gifted and formed Chris. I can be confident that He has given me a good thing and know that Chris is just the man whom I need. Praise God!
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