Do you ever experience those times…when God seems to be silent?
That’s what I’ve been experiencing. Recently, my husband Chris and I were on vacation and departed from our normal routines. As much as we need vacations…there’s something that I like about ordinary life. It’s easier for me to be disciplined in prayer and the study of God’s word when I’m at home. I find that when I’m living out of a suitcase and traveling from place to place it’s harder for me to be focused in my prayers or to read the Bible without distraction. So while part of me would like some more time off from work…I appreciate getting back into a disciplined schedule.
While on vacation…I didn’t listen to my I-Pod which is chock full of sermons and Biblically based programs. I missed it greatly. During the long drive home…I had the time to put on my head phones and listen to God’s word again....and it felt like a welcomed friend.
Since then I’ve been working on my Bible study, reading God’s word and coming before the throne of grace in prayer. Despite that…my spiritual tanks seem low. I feel like God has been silent. I’ve prayed that if there was an area of sin or something that is displeasing to the Lord, that God would help me to see it so that I can repent.
I praise God that daily I can ask for Him to forgive my trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me. But I didn’t feel as though God was bringing to mind an area of disobedience that I needed to address. Yet…the silence continue and I found myself focusing more and more on me and continuing to ask, “Lord what have I done wrong?”.
When I read my morning email devotional from Elizabeth Elliot a quote leap off the page at me, “There is another reason, I think, for the cause of the feeling (a spirit of discontent) within us. It comes from the flesh and self-introspection. It is good for us to look at self and know how loathsome it is, but with one look at self we must take ten looks at Christ.”
When I read that quote, I realized that in the time of silence from God, I had turned my focus inward. In my attempt to examine myself for sin or a barrier between God and me…I had taken my eyes off the Lord.
I need to keep my eyes on the Lord Jesus Christ, stay in the word of God and preserver in prayer. God calls us to walk by faith, not by sight. I must not allow myself to be drawn off course by my feelings. When I’ve sinned, I can trust the Holy Spirit to bring it to mind so that I can confess and repent.
No matter if it’s a fruitful and intimate time with the Lord or a time of silence…I need to keep my eyes on Jesus Christ.