For Better or For Worse

This probably falls under the “for worse” that Dave warned us about when we took our wedding vows. 

I think I’ve been to the doctors more in the last three months than I have in my entire life.  After having intense back pain for 2 months, my doctor ordered and MRI to find out what was causing sciatica that isn’t going away. 

The results came back pretty quickly.  Within a couple of days my doctor emailed me the diagnosis, “degenerative changes most noticeably at L4-5 where there is severe canal stenosis attributed to a 5 mm central disc bulge.  At the level of L5-S1, there is mild canal stenosis.  This explains your symptoms.”

I’m not too keen taking a lot of medicine and don’t want to be dependent upon pain killers.  I am grateful to have relief from pain through medicine…but want to keep it at the lowest level possible.  After all, I need to function in my daily life…working, driving, shopping, cleaning, attending church, Bible study, etc.

I’ve been amazed as I look back at the previousness of God in how He orchestrated circumstances in my life.  He knew that my work schedule would be more demanding and that I would need my rest on the weekends.  He knew that I would develop a condition in which it’s painful to sit for extended periods of time.  Thus God had me step aside from commitments that took a lot of time and required sitting. 

You never know when you are going through something how you will respond.  I’ve seen God give me the grace I never knew I could have to endure pain.

Until this happened, I don’t think I realized how much what happens to me effects my husband.  I guess that’s part of becoming one.  There are times I have a greater peace about what’s happening than Chris does. 

My husband Chris and I are asking for God to give us wisdom to determine what’s the best course of action to take and for wisdom for the doctor.  That she would be compassionate.  Of course we both know that God is well able to bring a miraculous healing to my back.  Should He choose to do so…we will praise Him.  In His sovereignty, should God choose not to heal me, we will praise Him.  I am learning that God is good all the time.  His goodness is not dependent upon Him making my life easy or perfect.