Saturday, January 28, 2006

Oh no…it’s coming!


Oh yeah…it’s coming…once again that most dreaded of days is almost here.

That day…in which single females who want to change that check box on their W-2 from single to married…is a mere 18 days away. That day in which…if I had my druthers…I would lapse into a coma on or about February 10th and awaken…refreshed from my good rest on February 17th. Actually if I was really smart I’d go all the way through to March 1st being that I have a not too eagerly awaited birthday shortly thereafter.

Being that the coma thing probably ain’t gonna happen…how am I going to get through the torture this year? And make no mistake…I would do almost anything to avoid this most wretched day. Yes…that dreaded day is none other than Valentines Day! AHHH!

For those really discerning individuals…you can probably tell…I’m not overly fond of Valentines Day. Not because I’m not romantic…or the scrooge of love…but because my sweetheart has yet to make himself known. (Just between you and me...he's a little tardy.)

That’s not too say I don’t have my eye on a gentleman or two…but nothing that's current or active for me to brag about.

So getting through Valentine’s Day is like being on a fast…and having to walk through a banquet room with people eating hearty meals…but you can’t stop and enjoy the meal. It’s not for you…just keep on moving.

Not that I begrudge others the displays of affection…from flowers, to cards filled with loving romantic sentiments or a nice candle light dinner with their sweetheart. I celebrate and am happy that they are most fortunate to have their husband or boyfriend. That’s exactly what I want for me too.

Yet…I have my days in which I feel like Hannah or Leah or the woman begging at Jesus feet…for even the little dogs receive the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.

I can honestly say…I was the poster child for Janis Ian’s song “At Seventeen”. Hearing it even now, evokes much pain.

To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came,
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball.
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me.

But instead of burying my head in the sand…I must grit my teeth and face the day.

Now I’ve tried many a thing to help make it better. From trying to make Valentines Day special for my mom...especially as she continues to decline. Or making it a fun or special day for those with whom I work…by bringing old fashion school box Valentines along with the heart candies. And yes…to some degree it does help…a wee bit. But it’s still hard.

It remains my daily prayer that God will bless me with a husband. I dream of that day…from the proposal to my wedding day. I do so hope that if ever that day comes…I will never forget how it feels to be without a sweetheart on Valentines Day. And in turn help make it a special day for that person who may not hear “I love you”…from that someone special.

3 comments:

Debra said...

Oh my... I love Valentine's Day....but wait! Before you say that's easy for me to say because I'm married---it's not that at all. Over the last many years, I've looked forward to Valentine's Day because it's my special day to let my friends know they mean a lot to me. For me, Valentine's Day is first and foremost, Friendship Day. And for that reason, alone, I love to revel in it. Really, my DH and I treat other days as our own special days, but this one, Valentine's Day, for me is for Friends way more than for lovers. Honest! So maybe you can join-in this year and make it your own Friendship Day! Maybe?

(I think it beats the coma idea, anyway....teee...heee...). :)

And speaking of friends, I'm glad you are my blogging friend--your comments always encourage me and I am grateful! :)

Hugs, Debra

Anonymous said...

Susan,

I thinks its been a while since you have brought in candy at work.

susanwalkergirl said...

Okay Mr. Candy Man...I know who this is...go check your blood sugar Jim!

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