On the Lookout

As I was praying this last week, I felt rather downcast and hopeless.  I had finished praying for the salvation of people whom God has laid on my heart.  It seems that the list continues to increase.  Some of the people have been on the list for many years.  Some people have moved on and I may never see them again, but I continue to pray for their salvation. 

As I walked into Corner Bakery to pick-up my breakfast, I felt that the Lord rebuke me for my downcast attitude. 

Here I am praying to the God of the universe…the Creator of all things, the One Who spoke the words and our world came into existence.  God, Who from before the foundations of the world, knew me and chose to save me from my sin through the atoning death of His Son, my Savior Jesus Christ.  God Who knows me intimately, knows the number of hairs on my head, knows my thoughts before the words come out of my mouth and puts my tears in a bottle.  I’m praying to Almighty God and I’m feeling downcast?  Are you kidding me? 

I felt as if God challenged me that day.  I pray many prayers, but am I on the lookout for God at work each day.  Do I look expectantly and am I excited to see what God is doing each day?

To prove His point, later that day I had an encounter with someone for whom I’ve been praying.  I got to hear what God is doing in their life, a definite God thing…a work that only He could be doing. 

My downcast and hopeless feelings were nothing short of unbelief, which is sin.  I didn’t have my eyes on God, nor trust Him and His perfect timing to answer my prayer. 

Now I’m choosing to remind myself to Whom I’m praying to each day, and be on the lookout for the answers to those prayers and see God actively at work in all situations. 

If I Really Believed

If I really believed that God hears my prayers would that change how I prayed?  If I really believed that God cares and that He answers prayers…how would I pray?  If I was confident that God is who the Bible says He is and can do what He says He can do…what would I pray for? 
 
The first thing that comes to mind is that I would pray more often.
 
I would pray about everything.
 
I would pray with boldness and confidence. 
 
I would be more faithful in prayer for family, friend, strangers and even my enemies. 
 
I would pray with a sense of peace and assurance that my heavenly Father hears me.
 
I would pray more personally. 
 
I could hardly wait to pray…to run to the throne of my Abba Father who cares for me.
 
I would pray with trust and know that no matter what, God is doing a good work in the situation and my character.
 
I would be certain that His “No” is because he is working out a greater good.
 
My prayers would have an eternal vision…not only looking for answers this side of heaven. 
 
I would care less about what people thought about me and more about what my heavenly Father has to say.
 
I would desire to have more time with my Abba Father.
 
I would be excited to share with others the wonderful news about the Gospel message so that they too can be saved and have their sin debt paid in full by Jesus Christ.
 
I wouldn’t give a hoot or holler what unbeliever or doubters had to day…because I would believe God.
 
When attacked by the enemy…I would run to the throne of grace.
 
I would desire to be sanctified, set apart so that nothing would interfere with my prayer life and relationship with God.
 
I would pray more fervently. 
 
Salvation, salvation, salvation would be my primary prayer because I know that God desires that no one would perish but all would come to repentance…and there is nothing more important in life.
 
I would have the joy of the Lord even during the hard times.
 
I wouldn’t try to get through life and difficult circumstances on my own strength.

Resist & Believe

Last week, after spending the afternoon in a spiritual battle, I was weary.  During the drive home the Holy Spirit challenged me about what I really believe.
 
If there was a person in my life whom had a history and pattern of lies and deceit, of continually doing harm to me or friends and family, would I believe him when he came to me with a laundry list of lies?  Would I give him the time of day?  Or would I tell him, in no uncertain terms, to leave?
 
Knowing me...I would be swift, firm, loud and direct, “Get Out…and don’t come back!” 
 
Yet when approached by the enemy I actually give him an ear.  I listen and give credence to the one who is a lair and murdered from the beginning.  I believe what the hater my soul has to say...as if he would ever utter anything beneficial to me.
 
Why?  Why in the world would I do that?
 
I must confess its part laziness and part sin-nature.
 
Laziness…because for me to not listen to the lies of the enemy means I must take every thought captive.  I must actively, purposely redirect my thoughts…and think on that which is good, lovely, pure and true by meditating on scripture.  I need to praise God and believe that He is able to accomplish much more than I can ask or imagine.  I must have an active faith and believe that God is able to bring about that which has not yet been made manifest.  I must believe God is good…even when His answer is no, or wait, or when He gives me something much different than what I hoped and prayed for. 
 
Sin nature…because when I have been wronged or sinned against it’s not in my nature to be quick to forgive.  Instead I would rather justify why it’s okay to have hard feelings against a person who did me wrong.  I’d rather run to God with a long list of what’s wrong with this person or that one.  Instead…God calls me, as a Christian, to live supernaturally, to live by the power of the Holy Spirit within me.
 
I am a new creation in Christ.  Daily I am to take off the old man and put on the new. 
 
Lord…next time the enemy comes knocking…may I remember that he is a lair and that he comes to steal, kill and destroy.  May I resist him and watch him flee.  May I stand firm and see the deliverance of the Lord. May I believe You God…and instead ask, “What does my Father have to say about this?”
 

The Road Beyond

I’ve been down this road
So many times before
I ought to know it well

Instead of doubt and despair
My mind should be filled
With excitement and prayerful expectation

The road begins
With a prayer
For God’s soon deliverance

Then the wait begins
Sometimes the delay appears to be a no
For God’s timing is oft much different than my own

He takes me to the brink
Where I feel like I cannot endure
Not even one more day

Then God takes me beyond
To the place where I must choose
To doubt or believe God

In the place of beyond
I wait upon the Lord
With faith look for God’s miraculous deliverance

Oh my soul, take courage
For God will never disappoint
When He takes me down the road and beyond


Susan Bunts Wachtel
August 12, 2009

Faith Meter

Recently I’ve been experiencing some spiritual battles that left me feeling soundly defeated. Rather than believing God that I am more than a conqueror and acting on it…I believed the lies of the enemy. Much to my chagrin I’ve taken the bait one too many times.

That’s when I realized…I’m tired be living a defeated life. Tired of choosing fear and anxiety rather than trusting and believing God. Tired of looking at my circumstances and letting them be the measure of my faith. When my circumstances are good and everything is going my way…the faith meter is so high it’s off the charts. When troubles abound and the fiery darts of the enemy assail me…you can’t get a reading.

If my faith meter was instead a heart monitor…the doctors would pronounce me dead and pull the sheet over my head.

Isn’t my faith, to some degree, a measure of my heart towards God? Am I a person who loves God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength? If I don’t believe God is good…no matter what my circumstances…then how can I love Him when life turns ugly?

While meditating on my faith failures…God challenged me with the following thoughts:

• Will I choose to love God when I don’t understand what He’s doing?
• Will I choose to bless His holy Name when I don’t understand His purpose for allowing the enemy buffet me?
• Will I choose to thank Him in all things?
• Will I choose to obey Him when it’s the hard thing to do?
• Will I choose to trust Him when I’m hurting?
• Will I choose to look to Him, not my circumstances?
• Will I choose to listen to Him only, not give an ear to the enemy?
• Will I choose to pray rather than fret and imagine the worst?
• Will I choose to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ?
• Will I choose to dwell upon that which is good, lovely, and pure and of good report?
• Will I choose to continue to bring my requests to God…trusting His timing and answer to my prayers?
• Will I trust that God is working out His good and perfect plan in the trials and tribulations of life?
• Will I bring my loved ones before the throne of God and seek His wisdom on how to respond?
• Will I choose to believe that God is doing a work in others, even when it’s not evidenced in the now?
• Will I choose to saturate my mind with God’s word?
• Will I seek to know God more?
• Will I choose to say “Blessed be the Name of the Lord” in good times and bad…and mean it with all my heart?

Fear and anxiety are doubt and unbelief being worked out in my daily life.

Today I choose to believe God, love Him, trust and obey Him. By His power, through Christ and the Holy Spirit dwelling within me…I will be more than a conqueror today.

Tomorrow…I’ll be faced with that choice all over again. But for today…I choose to believe God.

Yet For a Season

In a place
Where I cry out for God’s deliverance
Yet for a season
God’s will is to keep me here
Right where I’m at

When necessary
I put my hand over my mouth
Think a second time
Choose to look on the good that God is doing
In the midst of uncomfortable

It would be so easy
To withdraw
Harden my heart
When the reason for God’s delay or His “No”
Is unknown to this frail human soul

But instead God has given me His word
By the power of the Holy Spirit
I can learn from the examples of others
I can stand strong, purpose in my heart to believe God
Or go down the path of unbelief which surely leads to destruction

Oft times His will is inscrutable, unknowable, a mystery
That’s when God calls me to trust Him
Believe that He is good, holy, righteous and just
He is working all things together for good
For this one who loves Him


Susan Bunts Wachtel
March 12, 2009

Though He Slay Me

The problem with corresponding with a blogger is that you may be inspiring another post. Indeed your questions are thought provoking and something I’m well acquainted with.

You say that you’ve never met anyone else who has struggled with being angry or mad at God. Dare I say…I’d be willing to bet you have. It’s just that most folks aren’t too keen on admitting or acknowledging that they have ever been mad at God. People love to share that they love God and are seeking to know Him better and to read His word…but not too many folks are willing to raise their hand and say, “I’m angry at God”.

I pray my response can offer you some hope as you work through your anger and draw close to the Lord.

For so long I was angry at God because my life has not turned out at all like I wanted it to. I wasn’t asking for great wealth or to be famous. I was asking for love…to be married…and once upon a time I even dreamed about having children.

God’s word assures us that nothing is too hard for God. That He is more than able to handle all that concerns us…with ease. The Bible tells us that God is good and that He has compassion upon those whom He loves. So I prayed and prayed and prayed for years. I can’t tell you dark times and tears I’ve struggled with. Yet God remained silent on this.

I think I finally came to a breaking point. A crisis in my faith. Was I going to believe God and who He says He is…despite my circumstances? Or was I going to be at the mercy of my circumstances and let them dictate how I feel? Feel about God...and people and me?

That’s when the Holy Spirit started to challenge me. He brought scripture to mind. Was I going to really believe what I said I believed? If so…would that change how I act, think and feel?

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9

If a human being has the ability to do good…to help someone but fails to do so…that would reflect poorly on their character. Especially if they had the ability to bring relief from great suffering and pain but refused to do so. More than uncaring, such a person would considered wicked or evil. To see hurt and have the ability to help…but refuse to. That’s hard to understand how someone can do that, isn’t it.

But God…is not like man. God is not so much interested in our happiness or comfort as much as He’s interested in our character…in our heart. In bringing us to a saving faith in Jesus Christ. Into growing into the image and likeness of Christ. His interests are in the eternal…not so much the temporary.

He’s all knowing. He knows that good can come from bad circumstances, pain and suffering. If you’ve ever had a painful time in your life but come out of it growing closer to the Lord or wiser or kinder and more caring…you know first hand that good can come out of bad. Now multiple times infinity and you have God…who knows all things. He sees our past, present and future all at once. He knows the eventual outcome of what we are going through. He knows it’s impact on us and others.

His aim, His focus is on eternity…not this brief time we have here on earth. In the scheme of eternity…time here on earth is a flash.

What we will gain in eternity…so outweighs what we go through here on earth. It doesn’t seem like that now…because this is all we’ve experienced. It can seem like everything. But it’s not.

One of the best illustrations that I’ve ever heard on us not understanding why God allows pain in our lives was a story told by Dr. James Dobson. He told of his son Ryan having an ear infection. He wife Shirley had taken Ryan to the doctor. But Shirley came to get Dr. Dobson because the doctor asked the impossible…to hold little Ryan down while he dug in his ear to get the infection out. Shirley couldn’t do it. But Dr. Dobson did. He held him in place for the doctor to go in and remove that infection. Ryan was in excruciating pain and he didn’t understand why his daddy, not only wouldn’t help him…but held him down while someone else caused him great pain. He said he hardest part was Ryan looking into his eyes from a mirror…pleading with him to help him. Dr. Dobson was helping him…but Ryan didn’t have the ability to understand it at the time.

That description by Dr. Dobson…was so apt…perfectly descriptive on what it feels like to be going through pain that God will not stop, nor will He explain.

It doesn’t make any sense to me…in my finite knowledge and understanding. I don’t like it…but I have a choice. I can choose to believe God and trust Him to be working out for good what I’m going through. For a lasting gain.

Or I can choose to be angry at God. Disappointed. Not trust Him. Fight Him and His plan.

It’s not easy to say, “Thy will be done.” Especially when we don’t know what will happen or what God will do in our circumstances. When we see others prosper or get away with evil with no consequences. But it’s helpful and encouraging to remind myself that their gain is temporary. My gain is simply delayed. Their gain is for the here and now…mine is in eternity. Even if I live to be 100 years old and suffer…what’ s 100 years compared to eternity?

To say, “Thy will be done”, requires trust. To trust someone, I must know His character, His intent, His purposes and His plan. To know God…I must read His word…where He has plainly revealed Himself. But at the same it’s so rich we can spend a lifetime studying the Bible, never be board or come the end.

So bottom line…how did I get over being angry at God? I had to decide….will I believe God and His word…or will I believe my circumstances and feelings?

I would encourage you to deal with your anger and let it go now. Don’t let pain and circumstances take the joy out of your life today and hope from tomorrow.

God is good…but He does allow bad and pain and hurt to go on in our lives. Sometimes He reveals why…sometimes we have to wait for heaven to understand.

Most importantly when I was angry…when I did not trust God…when I chose to be bitter and resentful…I was believing the lies of the enemy. He’s so subtle…that it’s easy to miss who is behind those feelings. It’s Satan up to his old tricks…casting doubt on God and His word. Just as he said to Eve, he says to us, “Did God really say…?”

Pray and don’t fall prey to the schemes of the enemy.

Lord’s blessings to you. I pray that God will help you to give up or work through your anger…and learn to fully trust Him.

She Believed God

While paying a long overdue visit to Pilgrim Pals I found post “Perplexed, Preserving Pilgrim” challenging us to come up with a three word statement that summarizes last year…and three word goal to strive for in 2008. Here’s mine…

2007 – It Was Interesting

2008 – She Believed God

While 2007 wasn’t awful…and in fact had some wonderful and marvelous things that happened…I was so glad to leave it behind and start afresh.

Only I found…I brought me into the New Year. The same things I wrestled with last year I still struggle with today. It’s so easy to believe the lies of the enemy and doubt God.

My goal…my desire…my absolute need it to trust God…to believe Him and see what He will do in my life. She believed God…and found hope, faith and love!

Lazy Faith

On today’s faith venture in Believing God…I’m seeing a clear picture that I have lazy faith. I thank God that He trusts me enough to reveal these things…that means He trusts me to want to change them. Now I fully admit I can’t change it on my own. But even knowing that is good…because before I thought it was a goal achieved through my own effort and self will. Now I know that I am weak and unable to do anything on my own…must less exercise faith.

I can see in the past that God, in His mercy, answered prayers of mine when I had little or no faith. He didn’t do it because I exercised great faith and trusted in Him. He did it out of mercy and because He knew I was a new Christian or young in my faith.

But I grew lazy…not wanting to strive or to pray without ceasing…but still get God to answer my prayers. I could have my proverbial cake and eat it too. When I do that…I’m acting worse then an unbeliever.

But God is not satisfied in leaving me young and immature in my faith. He wants me to grow…in faith and in my knowledge of Him. He wants me to participate. To believe Him…to keep believing…even when my circumstances would say otherwise.

I think I have been more satisfied with justifying my unbelief and lack of faith then in believing God. I’ve been more content with complaining about what I don’t have then to thank God for what I do have. Perturbed that I have to keep praying to God instead of falling down on my knees in humble adoration and gratitude that I can even come before the throne. More likely to doubt God then to know with confidence that He is more than able to accomplish what concerns me today.

God tells us in His word that we are to ask, seek and knock.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” – Matthew 6:7-8

This is an ongoing and continuous command…I am to keep asking, keep seeking and keep knocking. I can keep doing that because I know with confidence that my God is able to answer my prayers and He is a good God who cares for me. When I ask, seek and knock…I must be willing to submit to His will.

Where ever did I get the notion that faith should be easy? For Pete’s sakes I’m in a spiritual battle. What enemy has ever made their opponent’s victory easy? Anything good is worth fighting for.

Shouldn’t I remember most importantly that God is prize? Yes…I can come to Him in prayer…present my requests in faith, with thanksgiving and know that He is able to handle my every need or concern with ease. But the real prize…the thing that is most important…is not that He will answer my prayers…but that He desires to have a relationship with me. God Almighty…Creator of heaven and earth…Father, Son and Holy Spirit…wants to know me.

Dear Father…I have so failed in my faith. I have missed the mark and did not comprehend that You are the prize. Jesus…help me to grow strong in my faith…by exercising my faith muscles with daily and continuous workouts. May I be mindful I am in a spiritual battle…and strive for victory no matter what the cost. I come to You in Christ alone. Amen!

Old Woman Sight Walking Faith is Dead

Not sure how much of an inkling I had at some of the ugly stuff that would be revealed as I delve into my faith…in my study of Believing God.

I never wanted to do therapy…because I figure I’ve already lived the bad stuff…I don’t want to waste even one more moment of my life dwelling on it. But I’m starting to see the importance of examining the outworking of my faith compared to what God says it should be…and what pleases Him.

Boy oh boy…am I coming up short! And folks…it ain’t pretty. As the days and weeks go by in this study…I hope to better understand why my faith is so weak. But right now all I’m seeing is my failure of faith.

God makes it very clear in His word…that He desires for us to have faith and to believe Him. He even rewards our faith. Reading Hebrews 11….the Hall of Faith…I am in awe of what these people endured and how they maintained their focus on God and His promises. They didn’t waver with doubt and unbelief…nor were they concerned on how God would accomplish what He had promised. Instead they stood steadfast and resolute in believing their God.

Faith, trust and believing God is a way to glorify and honor Him…it pleases Him. Can you imagine a child who is fearful and concerned about how her parent will provide and take care of her? That surely wouldn’t speak too well of that parent now would it? But in this instance…my lack of faith and trust…doesn’t speak well of me.

I find it kind of amazing that God delights and rewards those who believe and trust Him in faith. But when I look at a parent…don’t they delight in doing good things for their child? Don’t they take great pleasure in bringing happiness and joy to their child? How much more so God?

When I look at Abraham…I marvel at his great faith. I ask myself…if God called me to sacrifice my only child….would I obey? If I obeyed…would I be quick to do so and not question God?

Am I going to believe God…and who He says He is? Trust what He says He will do? Or am I going to believe my circumstances…and only what I can see? I’m quite adept at sight walking faith. But God wants me to walk by faith…and I’ve failed that test miserably.

It’s easy to believe what’s in front of me and what I can see. It requires effort, faith and work to know God’s word…and His character as revealed in the Bible. In a different context the Bible tells me that I am to deny myself, pick up my cross and follow Jesus. Since doubt and unbelief is so ingrained in me…wouldn’t I be denying myself and following Jesus when I choose to believe Him by faith? So often…I think of denying myself in terms of denying certain pleasures…but perhaps that command encompasses even more than that.

As I look at my faith…and my poor track record…I realize that I’m not able to achieve this on my own…that God will have to give me the faith to believe Him. The Holy Spirit is going to be doing double duty…bringing to mind the scriptures I’ve studied…to help keep me walking by faith.

Sight walking faith has bigger consequences than just loosing out on blessings in this world. It also affects my prayer life. When I doubt my God…do I bring everything to Him by prayer and petition…and present my request to Him? Am I faithful to bring unbelieving friends and family before the throne of God and beseech Him for mercy and for their salvation? How many people are praying for them…for their hurts and needs? How many cry out to God for their salvation? Shouldn’t my voice be lifted up to God in heaven…that He would save their souls? What will I be feeling in heaven when the books are closed and people that I could have prayed for aren’t there?

Am I willing to deny myself…my doubt and unbelief…and trust God in faith? Am I willing to turn away from sight walking faith…and walk by faith through the power of the Holy Spirit within me?

Oh Lord…please help me. You know how I have failed, time and time again. You are going to have to give me the faith…because I am frail and weak in my faith…and unable to believe on my own. Help me to believe You and trust You. Help me to walk by faith. Thank you Jesus…that I am a new creation in You.

To quote Clarence Thomas’ grandfather Meyer Anderson, “Old Man Can’t is dead, I know, I buried him myself.”

Old Woman Sight Walking Faith is dead…I know because she was crucified with Christ. She was born again…and is now called Walking by Faith.

God…would you consider adding a verse Hebrews 11? Something like this, “By faith Susan…”

Only Believe

If the words had been audible…God’s message to me couldn’t have been clearer. “Susan, only believe!”

As I studied this week’s Bible Study Fellowship lesson I saw example after example of people who demonstrated great faith. From the men who brought their paralytic friend to Jesus so that he might be healed. To the woman who had an issue of blood for 12 years. Jairus had mission to have Jesus do the unthinkable…bring his dead daughter back to life. Even the blind men came to Jesus believing that He was able to restore their sight. In their joy and excitement over the miracle that Jesus had just performed…they went out and did the very thing Jesus commanded them not to do…they blabbed about what the Messiah had done to everyone they encountered.

Do I have great faith…the kind of faith that motivates God to answer my prayers? Faith to believe that He is able to do that which is impossible with man? Do I have the kind of faith…that brings Him glory because it shines forth…even before it’s answered? Do I have such joy and excitement that I can not be contained and must share the good news of Jesus Christ with everyone I encounter?

The example that has always touched me the most personal…is the woman with an issue of blood. Think of it…in the Jewish society…this woman was considered unclean. She would not have been able to worship at the temple. Anyone who came into contact with her would have been considered unclean so she would have been shunned, she couldn’t even have normal relations with her husband. On top of the social aspect…this condition must have left run down to the point of exhaustion. There were no iron pills to fix anemia. She couldn’t take an Advil to help alleviate any pain…her condition only got worse and worse…and now she was broke and bleeding still.

Jesus was her last ditch effort. Perhaps she had heard the stories of ones before her…the lepers that were cleansed, the sick that were healed by His touch or by His word, the blind who were made to see. There were even whispers of a storm on the Galilean Sea that stopped in an instant as Jesus said the words, “Be still”. Surely this man must be God.

She believed…she knew that all she needed to do is reach out her hand. Even if she just touched the hem of His garment…just that alone would be enough to heal her, end her suffering and misery….restore her life as it once was. But once you’ve been touched by the Savior’s healing touch…your life will never be the same.

These people had faith. A faith that was unstoppable. A faith that would not be discouraged, pushed down or ignored. A faith that tuned out the naysayers and loud voices of doubt and unbelief. A faith where their eyes were focused on Jesus. A faith that knew the scriptures about what God had done for those whom He called His own.

Faith is one of the key areas that I struggle with. It’s never been an issue of whether God is able to do that which I’m praying about…but will He? That’s where the rubber meets the road…and where I’ve gone off track.

Something about “have faith”…just seems like you either have it or you don’t. And when you don’t…where do you get that infusion of faith and how long with it last?

But “Only Believe”…now that is something that requires me to have a living active faith. Something that I’m choosing to participate in. I’m choosing to believe God.

Faith is the avenue by which God chooses to answer our prayers. When Jesus is my aim and focus…trials and tribulations fade to the background. I know that He is the invincible and mighty God…who is more than able to accomplish what concerns me today.

Will I choose this day to “walk by faith”? Or will I choose to have “sight walking faith”?

God…Your word tells us that You give us the measure of faith to believe. So Jesus…I’m asking for trial and tribulation breaking faith. I’m asking for Jesus vision faith. I’m asking for faith that will bring You glory. I’m asking for faith that breaks down walls and perseveres until prayers are answered. I’m asking for unwavering faith…that never trembles or doubts when confronted with the impossible.

Jesus…I’m asking for the faith so that I may, “Only Believe”. Amen!