Susan's Blog: Alzheimer's...the Winding Road

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Alzheimer's...the Winding Road

I wish I had started this three years ago...when this journey began. I have learned so much...from the mistakes I've made...the few things I did right.

I wonder just how much God has carried me and enabled me at each step. Kind of like the man walking on the beach...sees two sets of footprints from he and God. When he see just one set he asks God...where were you? God tell the man...He carried him then

A few lessons I've learned...

Low expectations is a really good thing. It takes punch out of disappointments and hurts that you will encounter. It's a very freeing concept...and will reduce everyone's stress level exponentially.

Sometimes I feel almost like I don't care about how my mother feels with Alzheimer's. In some respects...it's allowed me to carry on and not be overwhelmed. If I were to focus for any length of time...on the losses that my mom has endured...I would be paralyzed and overwhelmed to point of inaction. I wouldn't be able to function and make the decisions I need to make to take care of things right now.

There will come a day and time in which God will make it right...and give beauty for the ashes of Alzheimer's.

There are times...moments when I have a flash of how horrifying this whole thing is...it takes my breath away...and then I have to move on and get back to the present. When my mom does die...then I will be able to reflect more fully. Right now...I need to keep my focus.

I thank God that he has made me a strong person...and enabled me.

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My Colors Will Be Clear

I am a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of His. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, sight seeing, smooth knees, color-less dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, "chinchy" giving and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need position, promotions, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded. I now live by presence, learn by faith, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my destination is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few. My Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity.

I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of the One that gave me life, drew the line in blood for me in the hour of my destiny.

I am one of Christ's remnant people. I belong to Him and none other. All I do to bring this life to another is done because of that blood covenant poured out for me.

I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. I must share will all that one more might hear and be drawn from the flaming darkness that longs to consume. Reach for another, touch but one more!

Until that moment...He will have no problem in recognizing me- my colors will be clear!!!

Not only are the words inspiring but so is the man behind them. The above letter was written by a Pastor in Africa who was undergoing severe persecution. On the eve of his execution he sat down and wrote the above note.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Alzheimer's...the Winding Road

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The Berlin Letters by Katherine Reay – Fascinating, Compelling, Filled with Intrigue