Honest and truly...my parents could have named me Jacob and it would have been most appropriate. Jacob and me...we have something in common. We both like to wrestle with God. Actually...I’m not sure I can say I like it...but goodness knows...I sure end up in a wrestling match more often than I’d like to admit.
Thank You Lord...that You are patient with me. This time around...there was wrestling going on...but it wasn’t for a long and extended period. I’d say God had me in a full nelson...and was whispering my ear until I cried uncle.
“Susan....when you responded the other day...you made it clear what your will was. Did you ever ask what my will is?”
“Uhhhhh...no God, I didn’t. Surely this can’t be Your will, can it?”
I should have known better than to ask that. After all God loves obstacles and overwhelming circumstances. In fact he specializes in them. He specializes in taking broken people and mending them. He loves to take the weak and despised things of this world...and use them for His glory.
While I don’t fully know what God wants to do in my situation...I do know that He has a perfect will and plan. He desires that I want His will for my life...to obey and follow Him.
I learned that lesson last year. I learned that there is no better place to be than in God’s will.
My circumstances seem impossible...huge. Beyond me...by any measure. But I do know this...I want to be smack dab in the center of God’s will. No matter what. I don’t want to turn to the right or to the left. I don’t want to go my own way. I want to be right where He wants me to be and no further.
In the center of His will is where I have peace. It’s where He will strengthen me...encourage me...and enable me. He’ll even fight for me...when I’m in the battle that He has designated for me.
So...I made a phone call. “I don’t know what God’s will is in this...but whatever it is...I want it. This seems impossible...it’s huge...far beyond me. I'm scared. But we serve a Big God...One who is more than able to accomplish...with ease...everything that concerns me today, tomorrow and always.”
Once I yielded to God’s will...I had peace. When I stopped trying to figure out all the details...I was able to turn the reins of this situation over to God. So He’s in charge now. My orders are not to figure out how to make it work...but to instead listen and closely follow God's lead.
Smack, Dab, Center God...that’s where I want to be.