True Confession

They say confession is “good for the soul”…and indeed it is. So time for a little true confession on my part.

Recently…I was bubbling over…with my mind trying to work through a number things…going on with myself, family and friends. I love to write…thus, this blog. It’s the way I work through issues…put on paper what I’m thinking, work through the issues and even get a different perspective. I’m able to work through the heat of the moment…when I’m angry or sad or depressed or grieving…and have clarity and balance.

So with all sorts of “stuff” going on…I wanted to write. But I knew if I was going to use some of these very personal happenings, I couldn’t post it on my blog. After all, I have friends and family that visit here. So I got this brilliant idea to start an alternate blog…unrelated to this one. Someplace where I could be anonymous…but work through my feelings and ideas.

I was still approaching it with a Christian perspective…it contained nothing ugly, illicit, illegal or tawdry. But at the same time…it was a place where I wouldn’t feel comfortable having the people that know me read about my emotions, thoughts and opinions.

The funny thing is…I had it in my mind…I was going to be open and transparent. Yet…I was going to remain anonymous. Now that doesn’t quite jive, does it?

No…and now for those of you who are Christians…you know exactly what I mean when I say…I was feeling the pressure of the Holy Spirit. Trust me…He doesn’t let me get away with anything for long. So he reined me in…and rightfully so.

What did I learn? Well…if I’m going to say something…I need to have the courage to stand behind my convictions. Whatever I’m mulling over about someone else’s life…I need to examine it and apply the lesson to my own life…and see where I might be guilty of the same.

When writing…if I don’t want to repel my audience…I need to be diplomatic. Not politically correct or fake…but winsome and attractive. Now for those that know me…you are probably saying, “Yeah, right!” Susan, winsome and attractive…I don’t think so. She’s more likely to take whack at you than be polite…and to a certain degree you are correct.

But with writing…unless I’m intentionally trying to be provocative…I do have to aim to be well reasoned and not completely turn someone off at the start. Writing is a good discipline.

Then of course…maybe some of the stuff I want to say...needs to be private. And only shared with someone with whom I’m close and loves me.

Like I said…the Holy Spirit reined me in…and I deleted that blog.

I may approach some of those subjects here…but I’ll have to work through the issues and apply them to my own life…and use my flaws and failings as an example. Not use the examples that I see in others.

Does that mean I won’t ever take a whack…or be very pointed in my writing? Don’t even go there…that ain’t gonna happen. When you read this blog…this is pretty much the real me. I bare my heart, soul and emotions…on things personal, political, religious…and world events. That’s not going to change.

But at the same time…I am more keenly aware that as much as I think this blog is my space…it’s also God’s. It’s a place where I am responsible and accountable to Him. I’m most grateful for my ability to read and write…and express myself. But I need to be under the control of the Holy Spirit when doing so.

Now the last couple of weeks have been outrageously out of control…and busy doesn’t even come close to describing it. In about a week…things should calm down a bit…and I will be writing more. Until then I hope to squeeze in a little bit. I miss this wonderful outlet when I’m not taking pen to paper…or more accurately…fingertips to keyboard.